I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
When did angry sex become our thing?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
