So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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