MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
