I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
