I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
