The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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