I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
