I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
