My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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