Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
