Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
