I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
