he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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