He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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