I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
