And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
