so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
