He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
