So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
