There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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