My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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