STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I need a beard to bite.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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