I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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