You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
