i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
