It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
