Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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