im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Rumble strips road head = magical
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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