I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
