If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
