I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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