My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
