Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize