it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
