WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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