were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
