I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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