im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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