he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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