My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
