Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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