can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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