Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
