I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
