I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
