I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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