Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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