Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t yaâ€
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
