Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
