you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Randomize
