So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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