you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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