Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
