My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
