jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
