No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize