Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
