Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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