I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize