Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Vodka?
Forever.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
