$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
