ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
